OLIVIA CRACKS HERSELF UP!

So tonight I had to go to see some chick speak about Greek Life for my sorority and stuff. She was a really great speaker and I did enjoy it, but I realized something about myself, I'm kinda weird. Why? Well various reasons, but this is what I'm talking about tonight; she asked what it took to make a relationship successful, and I answered to my amazing friend next to me, "He's gotta get me food..." And that is truthfully the first thing I thought of, while everyone else echoed love and friendship and that shit, I am thinking that that five piece nugget, small fries, and coke, was just not enough. I actually want to marry the literal chain of Wendy's fine food eateries...I love it that much.

Anyway, this began me thinking, what makes the Olivia like the boys she does? What is the key to Olivia's adorable little heart? So, here are the top ten!

1. Food. I love food. People ask me if I'm anorexic, and I am offended, not because they think I have an eating disorder, many great people have eating disorders (I'm lookin at you Mary-Kate!) I just love food so much! Like, do people think I'm ridiculously stupid and do not know how amazing food is?! Every time I finish inhaling something from Wendy's I go into a food satisfaction trance...(spelling?)...and I am in a state of complete bliss for like, ten minutes. It's like opium...

2. Text messages. Love em. Almost anyone I am in regular communication with will tell you that I text ridiculously too much. I just really love that I can type something, and it magically gets transported through THE AIR to another place! In one piece! Does that not blow your fucking mind!? I send messages to people next to me, because I have that power, and I think it's funny.

3. Mix tapes. Nothing says cheesy like Olivia, aside from mix tapes. I love any time someone makes a mix for me, it says to me "Hey, I spent actual TIME picking these songs out! Because I think you're the shit!" And then I'm like, wow, you're totally right, I am the shit, I love you!

4. Movies. I love movies insanely, you should know this, I want to direct. I love watching a movie and ripping it apart in my head if I feel the need, (notice I said in my head, because I don't want to be that guy), If it's a theater, no talking, if it's a DVD, I will probably talk, and I hate me for it, but it depends on the movie and how into it I am. If it's an action movie, don't speak, I am very busy. Comedy, sure, let's chat.

5. Being smart. That's really all I have to say here...

6. If you know something about literature, let's just go ahead and get married. Let me rephrase it- If you CARE about literature, like some classic type shit, and we can have an analytical dicussion about it, let's get married now.

7. Disagreeing with me but not a lot. More like, holding your own opinions regardless of what I think, because I'm not going to budge and I'd like the same type of non-pussiness.

8. Any time a guy makes me want to be a better person that is insanely great. Like, that's great. Except I'm pretty much as great as I can get...so...

9. Being enthusiastic about something, as well as stuff I am enthusiastic about. Like...I get pumped about so much stuff, and I love it when people are equally pumped. Pumped is such a funny word...

10. Being not an asshole. Assholes include guys that are all anti-gay rights and shit, general douchebags, put other people down, put me down, and dress like dumbasses. Because realllllyyyy, if I accidently date some dumbass homophobe again, I think I'll be pushed to the brink and start mass murderes...

The list started sucking at the end but I feel good ab it. I have to write a 6 page paper now.