So in our campus paper, there are ridonkulous horoscopes. Mine yesterday was as follows:
"You've been praying for the perfect person to come along. Be a little bit more specific. You could even run an ad."
Not only is this an awful horoscope, but it's also a little bit poorly written. Not a lot of flow there. But also, it's totally true! I SHOULD be more specific. Not to the point of putting out an ad, that's weird for a chick so young and bangin as myself.
Anyway, I read my horoscope while eating lunch with a couple friends of mine, and as a joke, started writing out a list on a napkin (we have like, industrial napkins in this college, no joke). The result was actually a really good list! But also, it made me realize that I am never going to find this man:
-Smart
-Cares about something, some kind of worldly issues, etc.
-Likes good music
-Assertive
-Dresses nice!
-Holds doors open
-Funny
-Passionate about something, anything.
-Involved
-Spontaneous
-Nice
-Good Morals
-Not judgemental
-Acknowleges that I'm smart
-Into politics-don't care which side
-Likes movies
-Understanding
-Doesn't make me plan what we're going to do when we hang out
-Romantic but not weirdly mush/make me throw up in my mouth
-Likes football
-Likes that song that's on my Facebook (Chasing Cars, by Snow Patrol)
-Won't cheat on me
-Doesn't feel the need to constantly hang out, but does want to
-Will go bowling with me and enjoy it
-Will teach me how to play paintball
-Will teach me to drive a stick
-Will let me drive but also will drive.
-Will give me random food, because I love food
-Thinks I'm funny
-Is able to participate in intellectual conversations!!
-Doesn't mind that I swear every now and then...a lot
-Social/likes parties
-Likes Demetri Martin! (a plus)
-Preferably goes to the same school!!
-Not a criminal, unless it's really sexy.
-Will walk slow when I'm lazy
-And EQUAL
-Won't let me boss him around but won't boss me around
-Not an asshole
-Not sexist
-Not ignorant
-Good personality
-Has good friends
-Encouraging/supportive
It occurred to me while writing this that I'm apparently looking for a gay man, because god knows that I'm not going to find a straight man that matches up with this list! I'll take like, 80% though. Or just someone really beautiful.
9.21.2007
9.13.2007
THIS MIGHT BE THE REASON OLIVIA IS ALWAYS TIRED
This was at maybe 12:30 last night, I don't know. I was working on a paper that I had planned on being done with way earlier but then there was a very OC-esque arguement and I ended up finally finished my three papers at 1:30 AM, still upset and tired.
BUT the one thing that made me feel better was taking this video, because it cracks me up that I did. You will see why. My roommate snores like the lovechild of a Hippo and Cher.
Yeah. I know. If anyone in the Memphis area wants me to come live with them free of charge and provide me with warm meals on command, let me know! Because I have to barracade my head with pillows and shove cotton balls in my ears. The snoring is audible over my ipod turned all the way up, to give you an idea of how bad it gets.
BUT the one thing that made me feel better was taking this video, because it cracks me up that I did. You will see why. My roommate snores like the lovechild of a Hippo and Cher.
Yeah. I know. If anyone in the Memphis area wants me to come live with them free of charge and provide me with warm meals on command, let me know! Because I have to barracade my head with pillows and shove cotton balls in my ears. The snoring is audible over my ipod turned all the way up, to give you an idea of how bad it gets.
9.10.2007
OLIVIA IS GLAD SHE'S NOT BRITNEY SPEARS
Because Britney is a broken woman. She looked so depressed on her VMA performance, I couldn't even mock her. She looked great body-wise, not weirdly skinny or anything like a lot of chicks performing might have, you know? I'm really am glad she's a normal size, there are too many skinny celebs! But she looked tired and had that "I want to go home" look on her face. Not an "I love dancing like a slut in a weird underwear-esque outfit while my two children are at home wondering what the hell."
I wonder if she's just sort of like, not wanting to do any of it anymore. I would support her in that! Just saying enough is enough before going down the Anna Nicole road? Sounds awesome! Britney, I've got your back! And your front! I have as much of you as those backup dancers! Because I owned 3 of your thousand albums! And critically reviewed one in the fifth grade to my outraged peers who thought it was gold.
I would love to write more about the matter, but I have to get super dressed up now for a sorority thing! Speaking of which, I am now an Alpha in Alpha Delta Pi!!! And I love my sorority!
I wonder if she's just sort of like, not wanting to do any of it anymore. I would support her in that! Just saying enough is enough before going down the Anna Nicole road? Sounds awesome! Britney, I've got your back! And your front! I have as much of you as those backup dancers! Because I owned 3 of your thousand albums! And critically reviewed one in the fifth grade to my outraged peers who thought it was gold.
I would love to write more about the matter, but I have to get super dressed up now for a sorority thing! Speaking of which, I am now an Alpha in Alpha Delta Pi!!! And I love my sorority!
9.04.2007
OLIVIA'S COLLEGE UPDATE!
TOP FIVE THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT COLLEGE:
1. The TA that is teaching my Honors Class! Surrre, I might have given him the impression that I might be dumb when I brought the US Weekly talking about Britney Spears drinking with the babies (READ IT!) as my example of an arguement, but it WAS! And it was the only magazine I had close by and what a loser I would have been to bring a book! But moving forward, he's like a Zach Braff/ I don't know what teacher guy who is funny and lets us out of class early a lot of the time. The only downside is that he really likes Chuck Klosterman (spelling?) and I tried to read one of his books and felt that he is a pretentious asshole who really isn't that attractive. So I don't think that our love can be.
2. I don't have to make food! I just swipe a card and BAM I have food! Meal Plans are the best thing ever. Sure, it's not free, but it's effortless and abundant.
3. I am getting awesome exercise walking to class/everywhere imaginable. I don't feel that guilty about the chicken nuggets I had for lunch, because I walked across campus twice and a half today. AND I got a side salad! It's like I'm training for the Olympics!
4. All my new friends are always around, because we live in the same square mile. I miss the other friends supremely, but these new ones are pretty good. My dorm is RIGHT in the middle of campus, so it's like I live in the center of a tiny little town filled with thousands of people.
5. Short, short days, despite taking 15 hours. I'm done by 12:30 pm three days a week, the other two by 2:05 pm. And so I get done, and am supposed to do homework. So I take a nap, and it's great! My roommate snores, so I have to find some way to get a little rejuvenated halfway through my day.
TOP FIVE BAD THINGS ABOUT COLLEGE:
1. Once people find out I have my Jeep up here, they want me to take them places. I have no problem with this, because I love driving. I'm good at it, I can drift (not in the Jeep, of course). But I do have a problem when people comment on my driving, "Olivia, why are you letting all these people cross?" "Olivia, try not to hit the curb next time." "Olivia, you shouldn't yell so much at the other drivers." You can suck it, and go find another ride.
2. Communal bathrooms in my dorm. They are sucky. I can't have a relaxing shower while two other people are having a relaxing shower next to me! That leaves no relaxation for me! They are using up the relaxation. And, every time someone flushes a toilet, the water pressure becomes nonexistent.
3. Living with a stranger...I hate it! My roommate is MEAN too! And she keeps saying "You know, I told you that I was a nice person and like everyone, but you just don't like me." OKAY! She is the one that is mean! I am a very nice person!!! She came in at almost one in the morning and turned on her TV while I was sleeping, so I roll over and very nicely ask her if she'd mind turning it off. So this turns into some GIANT thing where now she wants a new roommate, but now we're kind of getting along, but we had a giant fight so there's that. Shitty shit.
4. Having to go the basement to do laundry is like a bad movie! I have done my own laundry for years, but not in a basement. I feel like once I go down there it's either going to turn into a bad porno or a shitty horror film with a low budget. My solution? Don't do laundry. Wait until I go home and ask my mom to do it. She didn't this weekend, and I had to, but it was at least in a civilized laundry ROOM. Not a laundry prison.
5. I have to dress up four days in a row for Sorority Recruitment. It might kill me. BUT I'm going to look so cute it might blind you. No joke. The first day is tomorrow so I'll be not blogging for a good minute. (like, five days). But I haven't been blogging too crazily anyway so it's not like a shock to anyone's system I bet. But dressing up is great for one day, maybe a few hours. I have to dress up for four days for like, a million hours. And not bring a purse, wow, where will I put my knives? Noooo idea.
._._._._._._._._._._._._._.
But yeah, college is great so far. Peach Slice and Teddy Grams and Peanut Butter constituting as a meal is the best thing ever.
1. The TA that is teaching my Honors Class! Surrre, I might have given him the impression that I might be dumb when I brought the US Weekly talking about Britney Spears drinking with the babies (READ IT!) as my example of an arguement, but it WAS! And it was the only magazine I had close by and what a loser I would have been to bring a book! But moving forward, he's like a Zach Braff/ I don't know what teacher guy who is funny and lets us out of class early a lot of the time. The only downside is that he really likes Chuck Klosterman (spelling?) and I tried to read one of his books and felt that he is a pretentious asshole who really isn't that attractive. So I don't think that our love can be.
2. I don't have to make food! I just swipe a card and BAM I have food! Meal Plans are the best thing ever. Sure, it's not free, but it's effortless and abundant.
3. I am getting awesome exercise walking to class/everywhere imaginable. I don't feel that guilty about the chicken nuggets I had for lunch, because I walked across campus twice and a half today. AND I got a side salad! It's like I'm training for the Olympics!
4. All my new friends are always around, because we live in the same square mile. I miss the other friends supremely, but these new ones are pretty good. My dorm is RIGHT in the middle of campus, so it's like I live in the center of a tiny little town filled with thousands of people.
5. Short, short days, despite taking 15 hours. I'm done by 12:30 pm three days a week, the other two by 2:05 pm. And so I get done, and am supposed to do homework. So I take a nap, and it's great! My roommate snores, so I have to find some way to get a little rejuvenated halfway through my day.
TOP FIVE BAD THINGS ABOUT COLLEGE:
1. Once people find out I have my Jeep up here, they want me to take them places. I have no problem with this, because I love driving. I'm good at it, I can drift (not in the Jeep, of course). But I do have a problem when people comment on my driving, "Olivia, why are you letting all these people cross?" "Olivia, try not to hit the curb next time." "Olivia, you shouldn't yell so much at the other drivers." You can suck it, and go find another ride.
2. Communal bathrooms in my dorm. They are sucky. I can't have a relaxing shower while two other people are having a relaxing shower next to me! That leaves no relaxation for me! They are using up the relaxation. And, every time someone flushes a toilet, the water pressure becomes nonexistent.
3. Living with a stranger...I hate it! My roommate is MEAN too! And she keeps saying "You know, I told you that I was a nice person and like everyone, but you just don't like me." OKAY! She is the one that is mean! I am a very nice person!!! She came in at almost one in the morning and turned on her TV while I was sleeping, so I roll over and very nicely ask her if she'd mind turning it off. So this turns into some GIANT thing where now she wants a new roommate, but now we're kind of getting along, but we had a giant fight so there's that. Shitty shit.
4. Having to go the basement to do laundry is like a bad movie! I have done my own laundry for years, but not in a basement. I feel like once I go down there it's either going to turn into a bad porno or a shitty horror film with a low budget. My solution? Don't do laundry. Wait until I go home and ask my mom to do it. She didn't this weekend, and I had to, but it was at least in a civilized laundry ROOM. Not a laundry prison.
5. I have to dress up four days in a row for Sorority Recruitment. It might kill me. BUT I'm going to look so cute it might blind you. No joke. The first day is tomorrow so I'll be not blogging for a good minute. (like, five days). But I haven't been blogging too crazily anyway so it's not like a shock to anyone's system I bet. But dressing up is great for one day, maybe a few hours. I have to dress up for four days for like, a million hours. And not bring a purse, wow, where will I put my knives? Noooo idea.
._._._._._._._._._._._._._.
But yeah, college is great so far. Peach Slice and Teddy Grams and Peanut Butter constituting as a meal is the best thing ever.
8.26.2007
OLIVIA GOT TAGGED!
So I got tagged...in September...and found this post as a draft...with none of the 8 things. SO HERE I GO!
Alexandra over at http://alexboldes.blogspot.com/ (sorry, shitty school network won't let me use the easy click/link thing where I would have just put "Alexandra" and it would be a link.) tagged me! This made me feel good inside, because I was pretty sure no one read this blog anymore!
Here are the rules:
People who are tagged need to write these rules in their own blogs & share eight things about themselves that others might not know. At the end of the their blog post, they need to tag six people and list their (blog) names. Leave a comment on the blogs of the people they’ve chosen telling them they’ve been tagged and encouraging them to come over and read the eight things you’ve written on your blog.
EIGHT THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT ME!
1. I'm a GIANT Star Wars fan. But normal. I don't dress up (in public...) or anything, but I LOVE it. It's like...the first movie I remember watching. I have the three original VHS tapes...and a shirt...that is really cool.
2. I love sports. I can't under any circumstances play shit, but I love watching them. I get really worked up, and yell "Attack!" I don't know what else I'm supposed to yell. I yell "Get the fuckin ball!" a lot. As well as "What are you doing?!" And GO GO GO! All of these things sound a little sexual, now that I'm writing them down.
3. I have a son. Kidding! But how awesome would that be?! Aside from the me being a parent part, but like, THINK about it! I'd have a little sidekick! He could drive around like that cat! Can't think of the name! Starts with a "T"
4. I'm a beer pong champion. I will kick your ass. No questions asked. You will leave my house crying. Because of me...completely obliterating you.
5. I'm lactose-intolerant. You should know this in case you ever plan on giving me gifts of like...lactose. It's not a good idea, order me something else! Kittens! I love kittens!
6. I clean a lot. I just do. I like things to be clean. It looks happier that way. It's easier to find things, you are prepared for random people coming over, it's great.
7. I hate Lewis Black. SO MUCH! I just want to hurt him. He was just on TV. I just...want to stab him.
8. My legs are uncannily smooth right now. I got this new razor, it's amazing. Like...you could eat off my leg right now or something. I don't know what kind of metaphor is appropriate.
Alexandra over at http://alexboldes.blogspot.com/ (sorry, shitty school network won't let me use the easy click/link thing where I would have just put "Alexandra" and it would be a link.) tagged me! This made me feel good inside, because I was pretty sure no one read this blog anymore!
Here are the rules:
People who are tagged need to write these rules in their own blogs & share eight things about themselves that others might not know. At the end of the their blog post, they need to tag six people and list their (blog) names. Leave a comment on the blogs of the people they’ve chosen telling them they’ve been tagged and encouraging them to come over and read the eight things you’ve written on your blog.
EIGHT THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT ME!
1. I'm a GIANT Star Wars fan. But normal. I don't dress up (in public...) or anything, but I LOVE it. It's like...the first movie I remember watching. I have the three original VHS tapes...and a shirt...that is really cool.
2. I love sports. I can't under any circumstances play shit, but I love watching them. I get really worked up, and yell "Attack!" I don't know what else I'm supposed to yell. I yell "Get the fuckin ball!" a lot. As well as "What are you doing?!" And GO GO GO! All of these things sound a little sexual, now that I'm writing them down.
3. I have a son. Kidding! But how awesome would that be?! Aside from the me being a parent part, but like, THINK about it! I'd have a little sidekick! He could drive around like that cat! Can't think of the name! Starts with a "T"
4. I'm a beer pong champion. I will kick your ass. No questions asked. You will leave my house crying. Because of me...completely obliterating you.
5. I'm lactose-intolerant. You should know this in case you ever plan on giving me gifts of like...lactose. It's not a good idea, order me something else! Kittens! I love kittens!
6. I clean a lot. I just do. I like things to be clean. It looks happier that way. It's easier to find things, you are prepared for random people coming over, it's great.
7. I hate Lewis Black. SO MUCH! I just want to hurt him. He was just on TV. I just...want to stab him.
8. My legs are uncannily smooth right now. I got this new razor, it's amazing. Like...you could eat off my leg right now or something. I don't know what kind of metaphor is appropriate.
8.11.2007
OLIVIA DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING SPECIFIC TO BLOG ABOUT!
- I want to express how awesome my best friend is, even with her living two states away. Amanda, you are the SHIT! So thank you for looking out for me when I decide to be stupid, especially last night. I love ya!
- I am pretty much last of all my friends to be moving out this month. I'm the very last to move out for college I think, and that's weird. I still haven't talked to my roomate so I guess I need to call her. But anyway, back to me being like, alone in our home town for awhile. That's sucky! I'm going to be totally alone! Parker just moved down to the magnet school to go be super smart, so even though he's not even in college yet, he's gone. And then the high school starts Monday, so even my friends who are still in high school aren't going to be able to hang out for two weeks because they have to go be studious. It's pretty much a crisis.
- I think everyone should go and check out The Black Suits on Myspace Music because they are very close friends of mine and Shane sings like a hunk and Kyle plays guitar amazingly, so do that.
- In other news, I've been watching Season Four of The OC and despite hating it when it first aired, I LOVE IT now!! I especially love Ryan in this season because he's more goofy and less angsty, and I love me a goofy man. Especially a goofy man that is as beautiful as he is.
- I ended up NOT going to Ozzfest this past week because I didn't want to die. I partially regret the decision because they got an AWESOME hotel. I mean...it was killer. But also, with me not going it allowed the guys to be guys and not have to look after me the whole time, so I'm glad.
- I still haven't seen Hot Rod! And I love the guys from The Lonely Island and it's like an act of betrayal having not seen it yet. But I will eventually.
- Thanks to my amazing friend Sam, who is an absolutely phenomenal friend and I'm completely worried that I'm not as great, but I love you!
-Hey, everyone, "a lot" is two words. At least seven out of ten people I've talked to lately have said "alot" a lot, and it causes me physical pain.
- My dorm room is going to be cute as anything. I will take pictures and put them up whenever I get it cute and move in, but just trust me, SO CUTE. I got really great sheets and a pink phone. It's awesome.
- Copernicus is an amazing fish, that thing goes DAYS without eating, and when I go over to check if he's dead, he's totally alive. Miracle fish.
I should actually feed him now.
- I am pretty much last of all my friends to be moving out this month. I'm the very last to move out for college I think, and that's weird. I still haven't talked to my roomate so I guess I need to call her. But anyway, back to me being like, alone in our home town for awhile. That's sucky! I'm going to be totally alone! Parker just moved down to the magnet school to go be super smart, so even though he's not even in college yet, he's gone. And then the high school starts Monday, so even my friends who are still in high school aren't going to be able to hang out for two weeks because they have to go be studious. It's pretty much a crisis.
- I think everyone should go and check out The Black Suits on Myspace Music because they are very close friends of mine and Shane sings like a hunk and Kyle plays guitar amazingly, so do that.
- In other news, I've been watching Season Four of The OC and despite hating it when it first aired, I LOVE IT now!! I especially love Ryan in this season because he's more goofy and less angsty, and I love me a goofy man. Especially a goofy man that is as beautiful as he is.
- I ended up NOT going to Ozzfest this past week because I didn't want to die. I partially regret the decision because they got an AWESOME hotel. I mean...it was killer. But also, with me not going it allowed the guys to be guys and not have to look after me the whole time, so I'm glad.
- I still haven't seen Hot Rod! And I love the guys from The Lonely Island and it's like an act of betrayal having not seen it yet. But I will eventually.
- Thanks to my amazing friend Sam, who is an absolutely phenomenal friend and I'm completely worried that I'm not as great, but I love you!
-Hey, everyone, "a lot" is two words. At least seven out of ten people I've talked to lately have said "alot" a lot, and it causes me physical pain.
- My dorm room is going to be cute as anything. I will take pictures and put them up whenever I get it cute and move in, but just trust me, SO CUTE. I got really great sheets and a pink phone. It's awesome.
- Copernicus is an amazing fish, that thing goes DAYS without eating, and when I go over to check if he's dead, he's totally alive. Miracle fish.
I should actually feed him now.
8.08.2007
OLIVIA IS REALLY A NICE PERSON!
TEN REALLY NICE THINGS I'VE DONE RECENTLY:
1. Put my own good time aside so that some friends could have an even better time.
2. Sacrificed sleep for a three hour long middle of the night phone call with a friend having a hard time.
3. Helped mud a friend's apartment. (Actually that's tomorrow. And I swear it has nothing to do with the friend being very easy on the eyes.)
4. NOT beat up Parker for my own enjoyment.
5. Stopped by my high school to make sure my little brother didn't miss schedule pick-up.
6. Taken my brother to pick up his schedule.
7. Left a cookie on the windshield of someone having a really bad day.
8. Invited someone who looked lonely to hang out for the night. (And I swear it wasn't JUST because he was cute.)
9. Been nice to the chick I work(ed)* with and would really like to strangle because everyone hates her, and she knows it.
10. Taken little brother back-to-school shopping.
THREE BAD THINGS I'VE DONE RECENTLY:
1. Cursed like a sailor.
2. Went off on a kid who kept coming behind the counter at Quiznos. It was a rage blackout.
3. Gotten a speeding ticket, and that's just a subject for a whole different blog!
*I totally quit Quiznos. My last day was Saturday and there was not even a cake after I've been there a YEAR! That's a year of my life GONE to those fuckers and am I appreciated for it?! NO! So I kept my uniform and refuse to give it back so that they will have to order more uniforms for the new employees. TAKE THAT! I have three shirts, an apron, and two hats. I'm supposed to have one shirt, hat, apron. But I'm sneaky, like Optimus Prime.
I start school on the 27th! I move out of my house the 24th! It's pretty crazy shit. Send me some housewarming gifts, it's the polite thing to do.
1. Put my own good time aside so that some friends could have an even better time.
2. Sacrificed sleep for a three hour long middle of the night phone call with a friend having a hard time.
3. Helped mud a friend's apartment. (Actually that's tomorrow. And I swear it has nothing to do with the friend being very easy on the eyes.)
4. NOT beat up Parker for my own enjoyment.
5. Stopped by my high school to make sure my little brother didn't miss schedule pick-up.
6. Taken my brother to pick up his schedule.
7. Left a cookie on the windshield of someone having a really bad day.
8. Invited someone who looked lonely to hang out for the night. (And I swear it wasn't JUST because he was cute.)
9. Been nice to the chick I work(ed)* with and would really like to strangle because everyone hates her, and she knows it.
10. Taken little brother back-to-school shopping.
THREE BAD THINGS I'VE DONE RECENTLY:
1. Cursed like a sailor.
2. Went off on a kid who kept coming behind the counter at Quiznos. It was a rage blackout.
3. Gotten a speeding ticket, and that's just a subject for a whole different blog!
*I totally quit Quiznos. My last day was Saturday and there was not even a cake after I've been there a YEAR! That's a year of my life GONE to those fuckers and am I appreciated for it?! NO! So I kept my uniform and refuse to give it back so that they will have to order more uniforms for the new employees. TAKE THAT! I have three shirts, an apron, and two hats. I'm supposed to have one shirt, hat, apron. But I'm sneaky, like Optimus Prime.
I start school on the 27th! I move out of my house the 24th! It's pretty crazy shit. Send me some housewarming gifts, it's the polite thing to do.
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